I JUST FOUND OUT MY DAUGHTER has been putting my perfume on my son's clothes every day before he gets dressed. When I asked her why she said "When he's stressed out he likes to smell your shirt and since you aren't at school with him I wanted him to have a way to not be

🤣🤣🤣🤣

He HATES my ex 😭😭😭😭

My husband and I called my sweet, 85-year-old grandma to tell her I got a new job. She congratulated us, talked for a bit, and then hung up. Later she called me to say I should open a secret bank account and never tell my husband about it. My grandma is fierce.

A 9–5 will humble you. One minute you’re passionate, next minute you’re calculating how many sick days you have left.

Me planning my attack after the Uber driver made a wrong turn

Big Bang Theory star Kunal Nayyar revealed he has been using his wealth to secretly pay people's medical bills. He sits on his phone at night and looks through GoFundMe, giving donations to random families in complete anonymity.

Beyoncé shares new photo with a telephone.

Yes. But don't EVER EVER EVER say it or LOOK like it. EVER EVER EVER. Walk fast, always hold something and don't smile until noon.

i can be having the busiest day ever and still find time to be chronically online

“I taught models how to walk. And now I can’t walk.” Miss J Alexander reveals he suffered a stroke a few years ago — but is determined to walk again. Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model is now on Netflix.

COMMAS AREN’T PEOPLE

OH MY GOD. I cannot believe I forgot this: We had a server with an identical twin. Apparently, they would switch places when one didn’t want to come into work. They told NO ONE - but came in together to quit. The reveal was Incredible. Gasps everywhere. Best day of my life

The Fall-Off World Tour. US Pre-Sale begins tomorrow. International Pre-Sale Wednesday. thefalloff.com

walked past a toddler with his mom today and as i passed he said loudly “who is that?” and his mom was like “we don’t know her, we don’t know everyone”

When someone tells you something can't be done, remember there's a sign at NASA that says: Aerodynamically, a bee's body is not made to fly, but bees don't know that. 🐝

Cardi B brings out Tyla for night 2 of her sold-out LA show.

Tiffany Richardson reacts to Tyra Banks' ‘America's Next Top Model’ documentary: “Tyra Banks let's keep it cute.. you are 1 lying a** tied a** bi***.. you know how you treated me the whole time off and on camera, YOU WAS A BULLY!!! You treated me like shit and said the nastiest