“If you can donate money into our athletics fund, we can bring back Clawzz! You won’t believe it. He’s a hybrid between Grizz and Paws. “

No parenting class can prepare you for the agony of watching your daughter go roughly 0-17 from the field in a basketball game.

"So what type of Latinas are you into?" Me:

“These edibles ain’t working!” *45 minutes later*

$11 for a number six from Taco Bell The country is about a year out from a real collapse, indicators are everywhere

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

People who moved to Dubai for the low taxes right now:

What it’s like trying to get a bartender to change the channel

My unemployed friend calling to hop on the game while I'm at work

When work gang is straight vibin but the office snitch walks in

When i hear the new hire saying "No one taught me that" to my boss after i spent weeks training him

POV: Me after turning $50 into $54.64 from trading

That’s a foul ref

Sitting down for another evening of Detroit Tigers baseball.

When you flirt with 2/10 to gain some experience and she rejects you

The Detroit Pistons as the #1 Seed in the East

The Pistons would have won if more than 7% of fans at LCA wore the shirts last night.

Pistons going up against the 8th seed Magic