How much does it cost to have an army occupy Los Angeles and why does my mom have to use her own paycheck to buy crayons for her first graders

If you had gave me 500 millions dollars when I was 24 I would have 100% been dead by the time I was 26. Smart of me to not be the best QB talent of alltime

Sorority sister unfollowed me on Instagram. U can’t do that I paid for you

why do comedies even try after this

every morning when i look in the fridge and see ingredients instead of meals

“Just try rumple it’s seriously not even that strong. Definitely won’t sneak up on you.” The rumple:

Woke up with a melted JELLO shot from Saeeds in my pocket. That’s it, that’s the tweet.

They don’t need a police escort back to Athens. Sit in that Atlanta traffic and think about what y’all did 😭

gorgeous gorgeous girls are national champions today

Yes yes you should definitely take lots of videos of these fireworks. You will definitely watch the videos later

Due to not wanting to, I will not be

I accidentally stepped outside. $250.

let’s be real the best invention of the last five years is not chatgpt. it’s nerds gummy clusters