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My cat is smug because he is one of the few cats who have maintained a career as a successful, intrepid travel writer, as well as a cat.

Desperately wanting to provide proof when you cancel plans because you're genuinely ill

Highly suspicious...

Squirrel 1:These nuts are awesome Squirrel 2:awesome Squirrel 3:awesome Squirrel 4:Fruit's a lovely touch Squirrel 5:was just going to say!

"And that is why I have decided to accept an invitation to become Angela Merkel's cat" #Article50

The PM wants a 'deep and special' partnership with the EU. I'd love that with my wife so I'll suggest we get divorced.

"I've had just about enough of this" - Translation: I will continue to put up with this for quite some time, but I'm not happy

Happy Boxing Brexit Day! The name derives from a ritual dance in which we skip around a burning bus while punching ourselves in the face.

Stevie's got goals.

"I get £500k a year, isn't it marvellous. Now call me sir, you bloody little poor person."

Some delays and disruption this morning because the bacon wasn't crispy enough, so we had to take it back and it was a big thing.

Back at it!!! Kim Jong-un is STILL trying to figure out synthesizer part to "Nixon in China"

'Not on one strand are all life's jewels strung.' - William Morris

'At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face.' - Albert Camus

FUN FACT: This is the first time in history that the President of France🇫🇷 will speak better English than the President of America.🇺🇸

"Shall we eat outside?" No

We should keep in mind that everyone is afraid – even those who frighten us: bit.ly/2qsBwVT #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

Some delays and disruption this evening because it's quite close. Clammy. That's never nice.

Watch LiseDavidsen perform the heartbreaking aria 'Es gibt ein Reich' from Ariadne auf Naxos glyndebourne.com/tickets-and-wh…

'Intelligence is really a kind of taste: taste in ideas.' - Susan Sontag