Oh Lance Armstrong, get it, even sympathise, but not sure you're helping anyone else feel the same

Mum was right. You CAN eat so much pudding you make yourself ill.

I want to hear Chris Froome tell his 'I don't cheat' joke again. #tdf

I got to Level 10 and completed "You Can't Do Simple Maths Under Pressure"! Bet you can't. toys.usvsth3m.com/maths/

Titanic the musical - great. Really.

Time for some central heating...

I have parked my car in a space so small I have no idea how to get it out again.

My rear windscreen wiper has been stolen. First world problem or first class scuz?

Beyoncé at the O2. Good seats...

Definition of an exhibitionist? #beyonce

Job title of the day: 'next step enabler'. Really.

Strauss-gate: thefulltoss.com/england-cricke…

I was anti the air strikes right up until I heard George Galloway speak.

My mouth's running on auto pilot. It's becoming a problem. #justsaying

Shame the digital marketing expert didn't check his new company URL was free... #apprentice

Semi tragically am at Marketa Mach birthday before anyone else. Including Marketa Mach

I haven't been a fan of David Millar but loving the commentary - best since @spokesmen #Dauphine2015

A great job on promoting a healthy #bodyimage from Selfridges