At what point in the movie should we take our poppers Guy Branum?

Sorry, I’m gonna be 3 days late. I forgot to check the “avoid ferries” option in Waze.

#NewProfilePic CrashPunks

I for one am glad we roiled those clocks forward so I could conveniently do my 5am gardening without a confounded flashlight like last week

I’ll clean my apartment when the next world fair comes.

Performing #standupcomedy tonight Render's Comedy in the Horizon in Meta Horizon #VirtualReality at 9pm CST! Come laugh with us! facebook.com/events/1346766…

Don't miss out on FUN this FRIDAY night! Join us at the Preposterous Comedy Game Show on Plauzzabl.com #comedy #comedians #free @ChadShapiro justinmatson.btc Aaron Caponigro

If we ever build a monorail on the moon, and we don’t call it the moonorail, then what are we even doing here?? #Moonspiracy

Very reasonable requests. #WGAStrong #WGAStrike

Sometimes I worry I might be immature and childish, but then I read my friend’s Venmo notes and realize I’m doing just fine.

If one more person shushes in a YouTube thumbnail, I'm gonna lose it!

It is my deeply held belief that my loan servicers are homosexuals and it would violate my religious freedom to pay them

SAG & WGA FOREVER !

I just got booked as “Fat Guy Sweating In Sun” on the hit new studio buster, #SAGAFTRAStrike Join us on the picket lines. #sagaftrastrong #wgastrong #unionstrong

Both this dog and I really need a job.

My ankles hate climate change.

“Dance like no one’s watching” is a great way to describe my TikTok profile.

I love reconnecting with old friends by getting notifications that they’ve unsubscribed from my mailing list.

If the left can't even agree on which spoiler candidate to spoil the election with, how are we ever gonna spoil our way to the top?