taco bell has a black bean version of the quesalupa this time around... you know, for the health-conscious eater who wants their taco in a fried, cheese-stuffed shell.

Coming out of a dream where a person was speaking to me via drive-thru speaker and I was distracted by the car behind me. Realizing I was responding in real life because I hate long silences at the drive thru.

Royal Caribbean is really making a strong comeback this year with a new line of ocean cruises leaving from Chicago ig

Oh noooooo I left my bag of cheez its open over the weekend and now they are stale but I'm eating them anyway

Asking Gabe (5) about how God made him unique. "What makes you different from... A monkey, for example?" "Well. I don't eat bananas every day."

Hello, world. It's me.

Bring ABBA to Riot Fest 2022 - Sign the Petition! chng.it/nvZZNB8K via Change.org

Hank Bachmeier rn

"only God has a holy spirit!... Also, no one has ever eaten a hot dog with windows in it." -Gabe, explaining The Trinity and the Wienermobile in one fell swoop.

BOOMER (lemme hear it y'all)

Overheard receptionist at doc office scheduling an appt: "unless you're superstitious, how about April 1 at 8am?" 🤔

Most looking forward to My Chemical Romance at Riot Fest!

Tequila and tunes. Sounds good. The nice folks at @herradurateq want to give you a pair of tickets to #RiotFest. Retweet for your chance to win! 21+ #DrinkResponsibly

Our friends at Monaco Cocktails | ESTD. 2012 are giving away a pair of tickets to #RiotFest. Retweet and give them a follow for your chance to win! 21+ #DrinkResponsibly #DrinkMonaco

I just watched that Weird Al movie and my life is so much better for it.

Gabe (6): what's the name of this song? Me: "Ohio Is For Lovers" Gabe: I like it! #proudpapamoment

Skeksis or mystics?

🚨TICKET GIVEAWAY! 🚨 Retweet and follow Funny Water for your chance to win a pair of passes to #RiotFest23. 21+ to Enter. Winner to be chosen and contacted directly.