I hate when I stand up from a public restroom toilet only for it to flush right away without giving me the opportunity to pull up my pants and turn around to gaze and ponder at my magnificent creation

Call me the grinch cause I aint making love to Santa like the rest of ya

This goddamn bird can suck my dick

Oh baby resolutions do come true through hard work

2024 was probably the best year I've had in 5+ years. Thank you to everyone who played a part <3

If I'm gonna assualt someone it's gonna be to the MAX

If you were debating to go to the gym today, stop. Just go. Go now. Hurry!

Realized God is the one who invented periods....no longer will i attend church functions (really wrestled with this one)

Really wish I had spirit visage built when I went to therapy

I want to apologize for my inactivity on here as I know most of you rely on my comedic genius to get a chuckle from time to time, however my thoughts have not been so random and funny recently because the winter is hard and finances are harder but it's okay cause I'm the hardest.

You can't tell me these aren't the same picture

Mixing up some chems in the bathroom at work like waltuh. Call me singed the way I be turning your father into a blood hungry beast

Too many of you live your lives in hate and it shows

Yo why tf did goldfish make their fish that one pdf file that those guys caught in the walmart...

Anyone else had this happen to them??

What's yalls go to when you're having a sad day? Also this is a nice picture I took today

This is my baby, Torta. Enjoy.