When you launched a couple of Wiffle homers on a 90-degree day then came inside with your friends and plowed through about a half-dozen of these bastards ... nobody tells you at the time but that’s actually about as good as life gets.

“Based upon this bat we retrieved at the crime scene, we believe the suspect to be a 12-year-old from 1984.”

If I was George, I think I’d have been more pissed about the retraction…

Sometimes I wonder what the fuck happened on their second date …

This used to make the whole world go away. Fuck all y’all, I just took my goddamn phone off the hook. See you in hell.

Joe Mauer is officially a first-ballot Hall of Famer!

From hometown hero to Hall of Famer! Minnesota native Joe Mauer is headed to Cooperstown on the first ballot!

Congratulations Joe Mauer on being elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame!

Five-time Team USA Alum Joe Mauer is a first-ballot 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑. Congratulations! 🫡🇺🇸

It’s official: Joe Mauer is a Hall of Famer. Go crazy, St. Paul. #MNTwins

Joe Mauer has been elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in his first time on the ballot.

BREAKING: Twins great and St. Paul's own Joe Mauer elected to Baseball Hall of Fame in first year on ballot. startribune.com/joe-mauer-base…

Mauer's induction to the National Baseball Hall of Fame will take place on July 21 in Cooperstown. He'll become the seventh player to go into the Hall as a Twin -- fitting for the man who wore No. 7 his whole career. He's the fifth baseball Hall of Famer born in Minnesota.

MINNESOTA ➡️ HOF 👏 The 2009 AL MVP and 6x All-Star catcher is officially headed to Cooperstown 🙌

“Did you guys play bocce today?” “No, we got down there and the gate was locked.”

A new look at Macalester: The Highland Cow will replace Mac the Scot, the St. Paul college's mascot since 2005: startribune.com/macalester-cho…

I'm a hard NO on the Republican spending bill. On cloture. On all of it. When a wannabe dictator is trying to seize power, it must not be given to him. Not without a fight.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: we cannot cede more power to Trump and Musk. I am a NO on the Republican spending bill––on cloture and final passage.

No reason to hide it anymore. Trump has pardon power and knows the pathetic GOP will never let him be impeached. Impunity is a powerful drug and he will continue to attack the judiciary, the only check left.