I don’t want to connect my coffee machine to the wifi network. I don’t want to share the file with OneDrive. I don’t want to download an app to check my car’s fluid levels. I don’t want to scan a QR code to view the restaurant menu. I don’t want to let Google know my location

"What's this?" "Your game sir." "No that can't be right I haven't downloaded it yet." "You just put the disc in and your machine will run it whenever you like."

Friday

I liked A Complete Unknown but it must be said: Timothée getting all the praise and nominations for his (kinda one note?) performance as Bob Dylan instead of his incredibly layered performance as Paul Atreides is genuinely insane

there’s literally nothing more bitchass than stealing someone else’s tweet from literal years ago word for word just to go viral on this now mostly irrelevant website

Doing a media tour about how much it didn't bother me that LeBron yelled at me

If you quote tweet Dov, you are the problem.

milchick and the severed floor while everyone else is going through hell 😭 #severance x.com/perrysbooty/st…

Hollaback girl - Gwen Stefani Requested by Ricken Hale and Severance Memes

Judy Gemstone one of the funniest TV characters of all time

Righteous Gemstones is the best show because every episode contains multiple lines of dialogue that no human being has ever said before

20% ON THE EU, 34% ON CHINA, 46% ON VIETNAM, 24% ON JAPAN, 49% ON CAMBODIA, 25% ON SOUTH KOREA, 36% ON THAILAND, 47% ON MADAGASCAR, 38% ON GUYANA

This girl told me she couldn't go out for drinks with me because she’s studying Tort law… Really? You can come up with a better excuse than the tortoise law.

I’m going to savor my Bill Simmons podcast on my commute tomorrow like a fine, fine wine

He looks like Carl Reiner at the dog track in Ocean's Eleven

Every 9-5 should move to 9-6 with an hour and a half of mandatory recess

We’re just normal men.

Courtland Sutton or Justin Jefferson?

This is what espn got rid of so that Marcus Morris can tell us Trea Young just started passing the ball