I saw a guy on Facebook with a similar name to a Disney character, so I thought "aladdim" and then I did

Me at the start of the world cup: ok time to go undercover as someone that cares about any of this Me tonight:

them: i'm leaving you because you always make incorrect friends references me: *through tears* this is just like when gunther broke up with marcel

I see so many dating profiles that say they love bad jokes. It really breaks my heart knowing I'd never be able to make them truly happy, being only able to provide extremely high quality jokes :(

Update: he still hasn't deleted it x.com/nilslofgren/st…

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And the same people say they never really pay attention to lyrics 😭

hey Spotify what the hell is this and why did you create it for me?

Genuine Classic youtu.be/SYt9yQoOjFQ

There is a whole online industry growing that is creating content to make men feel like shit about their ability to be loved, be in relationships. When you see a video like this you need to remember that the desired outcome is you resenting women and feeling insecure.

This is a song I made on the Dirtywave #m8tracker. I think you should take a listen. youtu.be/fN0c9a-uTQw

I'm after a ticket (or two if possible?) to Wilco in London on the 30th

Battle rap audiences act so different to the rappers on stage, it's hilarious. At Premier Battles | Phase 2 #Plug4 yesterday I was watching @yuLoveCoffee do gun and knife bars and someone scooched past me and said "excusez-moi"

What we saying for BOTN Premier Battles | The APEX? For me it's between Bizzo/Ark and Viz/Tony POTN maybe Bobby tho?? #apex6

I'm a professional movie reviewer, and by that I mean I've seen Léon twice.

As a huge Teletubbies fan, I found La La Land very disappointing

Joot Boot very excited for my trip to Poland though!

me: alright fingers, time to add some subtle, tasteful lead guitar to this bridge my fingers: *solos over entire song twice* me: the song is ruined but damn you're cool my fingers: *somehow wearing sunglasses*