I thought “social distancing” was keeping away from the wrong sort of people.

But Alex, his writing on page one is also horizontal

Happy Birthday April

[bursts through the door, panting] the jumbo jet the canadian olympic equestrian team uses to transport their horses is called AIR HORSE ONE

Ambushed by a cake? I was tongue tied by a tiramisu

Please like or retweet this if you would be prepared to offer #Ukrainian families and their pets at least temporary refuge from the horrors they have fled if only the Home Office lifted the barbed wire and minefields that are preventing these poor people reaching our shores

I believe lamb-burgers at their best are better than beefburgers, but this finding was mostly lost to humanity since Germans and Americans scarcely eat lamb. If the burger had arisen in Wales, the Lebanon, N India or Australia, say, things would have been different.

Germany 2015: Greece must make painful economic sacrifices to receive bailout Germany 2022: Germany will not make painful economic sacrifices to stop genocide.

Oh dear, I’ve missed the Eurovision Song Contest again.

Petition: End the ban on fracking petition.parliament.uk/petitions/6087…

Doing the rounds on Ukrainian 🇺🇦 Twitter rn.

There will never be another Prime Minister like Boris Johnson, and our country is all the poorer for it.

"fire a shot across her bows and signal her heave to, Mr Pullings away cutter!"

russians: we are afraid of protesting, regime is cruel, it’s safer to stay silent, we can’t change anything Iranians: oh, really?!

Precisely

Flan, I don’t believe that flan can replace Coronation Chicken and I like broad beans, almost as much as my black fly like them. No, for haute cuisine, the Sub Continent beats the continent every time. Other opinions are available.

I don’t believe anyone unless they say “the reality is”.

Relations between Britain and Germany have improved since the tiresome days of Bismark to such an extent that the Foreign Office is finally able to advise that German beer may be stronger than British. Lager louts of Luton rejoice and let Lufthansa loft you to Leipzig.

I feel that I have missed an opportunity by not placing a bet on the timing of the upcoming general election.

Has anyone noticed how dark the evenings are becoming?