Me: my neck is too fat for this necklace. Kid no. 5: That’s rough, buddy. She’s 9. Send help.

Who else is rockin' a red lip💋 today?💄 instagram.com/p/CLuuw28BWn6X…

One of my stocks is Genius Brands; its symbol is GNUS. Gen-Xers who watched morning TV know exactly what I think of every time I see it. 😂 instagram.com/p/CL69gosBPW06…

The gods have looked upon us with favor! ❤😊😂 WHERE DO I BUY THE STOCK instagram.com/p/CL-cMUBB6TsC…

Driving home with 3 kids today, listening to Hamilton; 13 y/o gets an idea 3 blocks from home. Upon pulling up in the driveway: "C'mon, y'all, let’s go WRITE!" Lin-Manuel Miranda and Thomas Sanders LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE ❤😂😜🤯

Guys, I’m at the DuPont Circle Pinkberry for the #TrumpInauguration. I’m here with four Proud Boys, their moms and Scott Baio. Did we get the address wrong? Help me out, this Minuteman costume is super-itchy.

This is important. You’ve also invested a year of your life in yourself and rediscovering what’s really important. No regrets.❤️

Look out, migraine. You cannot possibly survive the concentrated love in this matzoh ball soup made by an ACTUAL JEWISH MOTHER. 😘I have the BEST friends and I am so grateful. ❤ instagram.com/p/CMixxY0BxPNE…

The gods have smiled upon us!🙂 instagram.com/p/CNd0PjIBi33v…

Retweeting this so I’ll remember to actually do it ...😉

Watching S3 semifinal of The Great Pottery Throw Down and wondering DID THEY NOT WATCH S2? How can they not know how important the U-bend is? Guess I can criticize when I’ve built a toilet. 😉 #potterythrowdown @KeithBrymer #StokeOnTrent

Last night Hamilton was magical. This stunning photo (just before the performance) captures Lin-Manuel Miranda so very nakedly. (📸: JennyAnderson instagram.com/p/CT2Db-CL1bX/…) He’s saying: We’re thrilled to have live theater back!

One would think it's a little late in the year for such nonsense, but here we are. 🙄 Y'all got 🍿? instagram.com/p/CU3MrsmLaroB…

Damn, Marla. Contain yourself. instagram.com/p/CU3XN5lL6Eq9…

Allow me to introduce you to Phineas Phrog, a balloon car custom-designed and hand-built by my 13-year-old. instagram.com/p/CU3flLhLQu9b…

This may not seem like a big deal, but I'll take it, especially since the last "attack" lasted 3 days. instagram.com/p/CU43p24LOnf3…

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/CU5ck9trIFD1…

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/CU5zPwCLeE0t…