Starting a cult? Make sure you have a business plan. Also, a guru cape:

.adidas: all day I dream about anti-semitism? The ball's in your court and from what I hear, impossible is nothing. The world is watching. fortune.com/2022/10/24/i-c…

This is what it looks like when the richest man in the world desperately needs to make money.

Growing up means familiarizing yourself with an increasing number of aisles at Walgreen’s.

Daylight Saving Time is increasingly hard to notice when my digital are devices are like, "What? Nothing happened. We know what time it is." And my stove is left blinking and screaming, "IT HAPPENED! TIME SHIFTED UNNATURALLY! THEY'RE ALL LYING! ONLY I KNOW! ONLY I REMEMBER!"

Reserved my newborn’s Gmail address which I’m sure will be the equivalent of saying “Hey son! Surprise, I’ve had your hotmail account all along!

Cool tweets only

Hi-chews stand on the shoulders of Tootsie Rolls and Starbursts. This is the most intellectual thought I’ve had today.

If you’re watching a film near a smart speaker and you say “what’d they say?” … it should automatically rewind 15 seconds

Humanity’s future success depends on our ability to collectively say “Hold on, maybe we shouldn’t just let this play out.”

It's all fun and games until you have to enter an auto-generated password like "3PN!!!Hs6c@**HS.yL*tv6" on your phone.

experiment: want a personal website? drop your linkedin below (or DM it to me) and I’ll make you one for free within 24hrs 👌

An actual hero. This is what America First looks like when it’s a lived ethos, rather than a mask for narcissism and ambition.