I gave a (short!) graduation speech. I started by lying to everyone about my whole life story. Then I trolled Stephen Curry and Donald J. Trump. You won't believe what happened next. (Video starts @ 51:30 mark): livestream.com/accounts/11451…

Hahaha

USWNT are champs again, Rose Lavelles dog has revived her Twitter account, and all is right with the world.

Bloomberg: 5 foot 8. Pete: 5 foot 8. But only one is "mini?" *100% NOT me advocating for Bloomberg.

Welp, traffic looking good in the East Bay today.

Rain + 5 exams equals indoor Jeff.

San Francisco bound... Then Nashville in 5 days!

On the Darden san fran job trek, at Google right now. This place is UNREAL.

@lmfeeney they do have a huge two story slide and like 45000 cafes and microkitchens...

Climbed on the Clif bar wall yesterday, Levis today. Job trek happiness!!! twitpic.com/7tpil2

#pullthetrigger

in a social media meeting learning about hashtagging in twitter #hashtag

Nbc are so pro blackhawks. Lame.

I'll Have Another!!!!! #hottub

Go U.S. Soccer! #WorldCup Who are you supporting? x.com/i/t/worldcup

You can help decide the NEXT athlete on the Wheaties box. Log your workout to vote at bitly.com/WtsNEXT

#cavs fans, just got an "alter database underway" error message on LeBron James 's website... could it be here? #LeBronWatch2014

now i got the crash error... #LeBronWatch2014 #CavsGoodKarma

Congrats, Anthony Pettis. Proving to the world, actions speak louder than words (and tweets). #UFC181