Happy #BaltimoreMassacre Day! 30-3.

That helmet’s going to be a different colour by Sunday. I’m rubbing it too next time I’m there.

I love how I can tell by the commercials that KRLD-FM wasn’t playing the Rangers tonight.

Our bathroom is in a room called MIT. Anybody have a euphemism for pooping that sounds academic so I can explain my whereabouts over the radio?

I can hear Woody Woodpecker laughing from the bathroom. It’s official; this house is cursed.

Needed.

When Don Dominick, Sr. was still the Children’s Church pastor, we would sing a variety of verses to the effect of: “Shine it all over Arlington, I’m gonna let it shine.” And increasing our radius from there—Metroplex, Texas, USA, whole wide world, the universe.

Oh wait. She doesn’t know I’m a convert. She’s likely completely clueless as to why I was wearing a grey shirt too. Nobody say anything.

What if we kissed at the Eiffel Tower in Paris (Texas)?

Congrats to Travis and Taylor on their engagement!! 💍 (via Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift)

Plan your weddings accordingly. Notably, the Rangers do not play on my thirtieth birthday.

Taylor and Travis got engaged, and we successfully bullied Cracker Barrel into reverting their logo. Today’s a great day!

I received this alert while walking tonight. I looked up, and there was this rando chilling at the next street corner.

Standing the letters back up is cracking me up.

Long Live?

“I was set up on a blind date, and it turns out she was.”

The two mid-series off days on June 17th and July 3 are due to World Cup games next door at Dallas Stadium.

Pity the team at the World Cup that has to train at the University of Dallas.

Now, can the sides go up or are you stuck peeled?

My Institute teacher has joked for a couple years now that Brother Reid is going to aid in Travis and Taylor’s conversion.