I just danced with the devil.

I am the man of constant sorrow.

You know it’s bad when Chick-fil-A is ran better than our government is.

It would be some shit if somebody was actually trying to reach me about my vehicles extended warranty.

Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.

HOW THE FUCK DO I STOP AT THE EXACT SAME TIME AS SOMEBODY ELSE AT A STOP SIGN.

If you keep a dog in a cage for 8 plus hours a day then you fucking suck and should go to hell.

If the military wanted me to get married they would’ve issued me a wife.

You don’t have to earn my respect, you have to earn my disrespect.

Just seen a kid eat shit on a scooter and started crying and I smiled. What has the military done to me lmao.

Sometimes you just gotta match the energy.

Oh yeah we’re getting washed by North Korea

Doing the right thing is never easy.

Seeing the way people act at 4 way stops signs makes me realize why the country is in the shape it’s in.

I don’t know about you but if I got 2 or three flu shots in a year and still got the flu I would have some serious questions.

Y’all worried about the wrong Joe 🤭

You never know when you’re gonna do something for the last time. You better do everything like it’s the last time, cause it just might be.

If people aren’t listening to you, then stop talking to them.

This isn’t even funny. This is elder abuse put this man in a nursing home for God sakes.