Some people have a "natural alarm clock" allowing them to wake up when they want. This is actually caused by a stress hormone.

Being the longest reigning queen now is not achievement Liz, congrats on 90 consecutive years of doing fuck all!

Overheard two of the biggest guys I've ever seen talking about the hunger games " Katniss is cool but what about my man with the trident"!

This is the Father's Day card I bought, the longer you look into his eyes the more terrifying he becomes!

After buying stuff for Father's Day got these with the change, definitely not the other way around.

England it's been summer for five minutes this isn't fucking Madrid! Why am I being bitten by bastard fucking bugs!

I mean I like going for walks like a fucking Labrador and I love Pokemon, this should be amazing but it's actually boring, how?

Had Pokemon go for a week, I officially don't get it. Remove story and gameplay elements from successful series + walking = better?

Sadam Hussein's first Christmas card. I don't know what he is gonna do to that chicken, but he ain't gonna eat it

Every time I have to sit behind a desk I become...

Office monkey have many skill

Many skill indeed

His journey will soon end if I get one more mad bastard on the phone he shall become

I just found Jesus, he wasn't up to much.

Life is all about balance, it may be bad for you but enjoy the moment, cliche or not it more fun! #TrumpIsComing

If your the black sheep of the family did you win or lose? #nailedit

A vat of beer exploded in London in 1814. It created a 15-foot wave of beer and killed 8 people. The event’s known as the London Beer Flood.

You're ELEVEN magiquiz.com/quiz/which-str… via MagiQuiz was shooting for Steve, didn’t even pick eggo’s for the food question!