What was the most helpful thing your parents did for you when you were growing up? Answer: My parents taught me to work. They didn't say to me, "you have to work." They got up every morning, got dressed and went to work, no complaints, no long faces, they were grateful to

FUNNY DAD HUMOR, from JayandSimonComedy. Link to first Podcast below. A hilarious discussion with Lenny. 1. Making friends with the cement highway lane divider; 2. Hernia situps; 3. Wrong car at the gas station. Give it a watch - 13 minutes. youtu.be/5EfqhzF7iYI

I was hoping to be born an Ewok, and this happened

BEST HALLOWEEN CANDIES 1. Twix 2. Milk Duds 3. Twizzlers 4. Spree WORST HALLOWEEN “GIFTS” 1. Loose change in a bag with a picture of a ghost on it. 2. Apple slices 3. Dice (I really got that once) 4. Raisins 5. Almond Joy (basically anything with coconut is not candy!!)

WORST CHARACTERS TO START AS NFL QUARTERBACKS 1.SpongeBob (he’s too happy for football) 2.Barney (any questions?) 3.Zorro (he’d cause too much trouble with the fans) 4.Optimus Prime (he’d be transforming during the huddle) 5.Lord Voldemort (he’d be running around the field

THE NEANDERTHAL TEST Am I a Neanderthal? *If I cut bread with my car keys instead of cutting it with a bread knife *If I break walnuts with my hands instead of using a nutcracker *If I have a rock collection *If I honk my car horn at pigeons, geese, squirrels

“LOOK, ROSS IS DOODY!!” (That Friends Episode) Halloween is upon us in few short weeks. Probably the funniest episode of Friends, when Joey was in rare form, was when his refrigerator broke. “I had to eat everything, cold cuts, ice cream, limes.” A close second was the Halloween

BECOMING OUR PARENTS?? A PARODY! Do we all totally turn into our parents? Stop wasting water! The AC is gonna stay at 82, we aren't made of money! The heat stays at 70, if you're cold put on layers! Stop wasting food, finish your plate! There's people starving!

THOSE SHOES COST HOW MUCH?? (Turning into our parents) When did you think or say something, and immediately were freaked out because it was something one of your parents said? What about complaining about the cost of a pair of shoes? Fancy shoes? Let's not even touch

GETTING MY 78 YEAR OLD FATHER FROM FLORIDA TO NY: (True story - we needed him closer to his kids) The conversation went something like this …. Ring, Ring, Ring – went the telephone. I was putting out lunch for myself and Bobby who was home from school for Chinese Lunar New

MEN’S LOCKER-ROOM DO'S AND DON’T'S DO Wear a towel at all times. Keep your eyes and opinions to yourself. Spend as little time in the locker-room as possible. DON’T Talk to random strangers standing there in a towel, or less. Steal. Start a fight. Pretend you are in better

LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP Is it wrong that I want to sleep – see picture below. However, there are reasons beyond doing my job that I cannot fall asleep at this time. Underground missile testing; Car crashes outside; Gravitational Forces (read into that what you will); Zuel, the

FRIENDS … (THE TENNIS SHORTS OUTING) Setting: Coffee House, Central Perk. Phoebe has already introduced her jock boyfriend Robert to the gang. Chandler to Ross: “Robert’s coming out …” Ross: “What?” Chandler: “He’s coming out of his shorts” Ross: “What?” Chandler: “He’s

"I told god, Ewok! And I turned out like this ...."

"You said you like surprises? There's a dead bird on your pillow."

SPACEBALLS Ok … line it up - Barf, Lonestar, Yogurt, Princess Vespa, Dark Helmet, Dr. Plotkin … The brainchild of a historic and iconic comedian Mel Brooks. “Ahh, buckle this! Ludicrous Speed Go!!” … Dark Helmet … “Barf! Not in here Mister., this is a Mercedes …” “Get