Text me when your bored, and i'll ignore you like I'm busy. 👌

Like is better when you are drunk. It doesn't hurt as bad when you fall down the stairs :)

Some days the supple of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands😈

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong

TEENAGERS: Tired of being harassed by your parents? ACT NOW! Move out, get a job, and pay for shit. QUICK! While you still know everything!

Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed😐👿

"Be Strong" * I whisper to my wifi signal*

I don't have a bucket list, but my fuck it list is a mile long! 😏

I'm still waiting for the day that I will actually use K=m/2t+ 7/3.4/368=G so K<G?

If Monday had a face is punch it

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

When I was 10 I had Pokemon cards and played with rocks, 10 year olds today play with iPads, Skype, and Facebook. What happened?

Guy: Ok it's over. Girl: WTF?! Rly? It's ok that's why I slept with 3 of your friends jackass! Guy: I was talking about the movie. Girl: Oh😰

Your really sexy

CANDAAAAAAAY!!

When I said I love you I meant it ( I said to my steak )

Bitches be haten

Haven't been on in a few days... Tragedy happened

Look like a Barbie. Smoke like a Marley. 😏💨🍃

I don't care! I love it!