Why are 3 day weekends not a permanent thing already???😩 Life is so much better with a 4-day week to 3-day weekend ratio

in the toilets at the club and you hear your song come on x.com/LynnnCoco/stat…

I really really need drunk mode on 🤣

1 human year is equal to 7 dog years. So when you go to work for 8 hours thats basically like leaving your dog for a little over 2 days. No wonder dogs get so excited to see you after just a couple hours while your at work...

Is it safe to come back on Twitter yet, or is everyone still a politician?

resting your eyes after you turn your alarm of is a very, very dangerous game

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by friday

talking to your mates the day after a night out is actually funnier than the night out itself - love trying to piece together what exactly happened 😂

The U.K. government protecting us from the Coronavirus

Note to self during this quarantine stop fuckin eating 🤯🤯🤯🤯

For those who still don’t get it

Tested positive for being a FAT greedy cunt that CAN NOT stop eating

i can hear the DJs now “if you survived COVID-19 make some mf’n noise!”😂

Suicide should be spoken about in schools