A film that showed us how to live with courage, love with faith and laugh with hope. #Waiting is celebrating two years! Watch it now on Netflix: bit.ly/WaitingOnNetfl…

Look what arrived from Nucleus Films - awesome classic euro horror double bill! Tonight's telly sorted, then.

I'm on Resonance FM today at 1:30pm, talking to mentalist Master J about writing and comedy. 🙂 resonancefm.com

Very much looking forward to appearing at 'The Cinema Clinic' Q and A at the P21 Gallery tonight with Dr Khalid Ali eventbrite.co.uk/e/gallery-talk…

Yup, that definitely looks like a sensible property investment. A house built on sticks. On sand. Next to the sea.

I really, really tried to obey this Portuguese bus safety sign, but my left hand just wasn't quite up the job...

Great phone advert on Portuguese bus. "Our handsets will LITERALLY BLIND YOU WITH LASERS!!" Awesome.

At last, after years of searching, I have found my ideal workplace.

#FieldDay2017 line up: 18.30 Nicolas Jaar 19.30 Nina Kraviz 20.55 THE GREATEST LIVING GENIUS. V excited.

My favourite food van ever.

AphexGif™ of our view from the front row last night. It was like this for two hours straight.

Now this is exciting. I have just bought 144 pencils. #stationeryfetish

I think these might be the six saddest graphs I have ever seen. theatlas.com/charts/HJFYm4u…

Yeah, thanks, Marriott. But actually I'm in a hotel at the moment. (And how come you know so much about my bedroom?)

In case you can't figure out what they're implying when they write "Anti-Climb Paint"...

From this week's #LRB. When I die I think I should like to come back as an #octopus.

Someone told me my new Ikea chair was 'awful', and I said, 'No, no it's not,' but then I realised...

MANAGER: Nice going, Jerry! Now we have to throw away 800 burnt pizza bases. CHEF: No, wait! I have an idea...

A quick word of warning: don't make the same mistake I did. These are NOT compatible with the iPad Pro.

Yay, on Netflix at last!