Jets drafted a QB who looks like he would respond to coaching by saying "Okaly, dokaly, sir." ...And they thought he would be the future #NFLTwitter #JETS

#GlassOnion

Usually I'm fit enough to have cum gutters but they get clogged in the winter when I'm eating more baked goods.

Gonna be real mad if they don't call the next Mamma Mia movie "Pappa Pia"

Pussy is my comfort food.

Editing my little TiK Tok videos in frustration wondering how real editors do it with an entire film.

The Jackass crew are the kings of fucking around and finding out.

Every suburbanite that bought a chicken coop is sitting on a goldmine right now.

Plastic surgery is getting so insane people are trying to iron out the wrinkles in their butthole.

Banshees of Ed Sheeran was one of my favorite films of 2022 #FilmTwitter

So Austin Butler is that really your real voice? *extremely Elvis voice: uh huh huh #Oscars2023 #FilmTwitter

The year is 2043 and Jennifer Lopez is still portraying a hot middle-aged woman who struggles with dating in romcoms.

Elon Musk's time @ twitter should be called the "Chronicles of Richdick"

Imagine you're a kid who got school off because there's been a shooting and then you gotta go home feeling guilty about playing call of duty.

Jamie Foxx, you have a gambling addiction

I guarantee Rogan won't post a picture standing next to Sam Tallent because he doesn't want to look dwarfed.

Elon Musk is nothing but a pissant, secondary villain.

Drake won MVP. Most Valuable Pedophile. #SuperBowlLIX #SuperBowlHalftime

Trump's counterterrorism pick looks like Robert Deniro had a baby with Benjamin Button.