🤔

My dog is cooler than urs, pictured moments before doing a sick kickflip

How can you tell I didn’t get enough male affection as a child? Well for starters I’ve read this email about 1,587 times and I still get the feels every time.

Do you ever just sit alone at night and realize that the high-five had to be invented? ... Cool me neither.

Looking at camera equipment for my freelancing has really corrupted my thoughts on money. Like $2,600 isn’t a steal Jack, it’s a fourth of a fucking car.

Call Cheryl

Why don’t we, as a society, talk about how good Cake’s cover of “War Pigs” is.

Do you think the same guy who named pistachios named Cheerios?

Fox Sports really out here casually roasting fools

When you find out she’s pregnant

👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿 👉🏿👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾 Tip your server 20%👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👈🏿

Field, air, and ice hockey strongly imply the existence of a fire hockey and I’d like season tickets.

I’m just a sharkboy looking for my lavagirl.

Sir, your large format 2020 Busch from the Anheuser family.

“2020 will be a piece of cake!” I say December 31st, just before midnight - unaware of how horrifyingly right I was all along.

I wrote this aesthetically pleasing question mark and I am so proud.

I just think it’s fucked up how long the word “Abbreviated” is.

Finally getting the hang of this whole “Corporate Email” thing 😤😤