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you can tell that i am in a postgrad slump because it’s summer time which is traditionally the time for me to have fun on twitter, instead i am having zero fun on here, tweeting zero funny tweets.

i wish i had created kermit the frog

every day i log onto twitter and go “time to giggle :P”

seamus is pushing me to the bottle (ice cream)

don’t mess with lamar jackson

lamar jackson MVP

girlfriend left last night and i bonked my head this morning.

62MPH is the perfect speed to travel in a car

when i lived off the grid that was a moment of creative genius for my twitter. i would drive into internet zones every day and tweet the best shit ever.

David Lynch on searching for pants.

how does trader joe's do it...

many people think seamus and i are dating, but we're actually just good friends

REJECT ALL COOKIES

#PopeFrancis: "This isn't dogma, just my thought: I like to think of hell as being empty. I hope it is."

Oppenheimer's daily routine as a graduate student at Harvard featured serving tea, wishing he were dead, reading & pining for Spinoza girls 😏

Lamar Jackson. Your 2-time NFL MVP!!!!!!!

when someone dies it's like their vibe ceases to exist

I went from an MJ Lenderman hater to an MJ Lenderman lover on the NJ TURNPIKE at PERTH AMBOY