I crave Chick-fil-A on Sundays exclusively because my subconscious wants what it can’t have

nah he tweakin

Goes on Tumbler once

When you type fidget spinner but it autocorrects to midget spinner.

My Plans for Memorial Day:

Everyone: you think being salty about everything will get you anywhere in life? Me:

When Fuckjerry slightly changes a couple words in your meme and puts his watermark on it.

When you don't pay the electric bill

My Cholesterol Romance

Remember when people thought 2016 was the worst year.

Friend: what are your plans tonight ? Me:

Pablo Escobar and his wife Maria circa 1981 (colorized)

Everyone: what are your plans in life? Me:

When you're trying to cut down on your utility bill. #bettercallsaul

This is getting out of control

Me monitoring my bitcoin today.

When you don’t realize something is directed towards you

Kinda funny how the main thing we use our drivers license for is to purchase things that impair our ability to drive.

Imagine killing yourself and the first thing your ghost sees as it leaves your body is Logan Paul walking towards you with his stupid hat

If the earth is flat then explain this