It’s an infected urethra. It’s perfect.

It’s a new day in America.

What an absolutely remarkable photo.

FULL AMANDA GORMAN POEM: “We will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one ... There is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.” The 22-year-old is the youngest inaugural poet in U.S. history: nbcnews.to/3isX8JY

BIDEN to his team: “If you’re ever working with me and I hear you treating another colleague with disrespect, talking down to someone, I will fire you on the spot. On the spot. No ifs ands or buts.”

This. But Americans.

A 6-year old ballet student asked me today if I'm excited about getting my "Fauci Ouchie" soon, and I will now be referring to the covid-19 vaccine as only that, because it's the cutest thing ever.

Let me be very clear: Nobody should be taking a vacation abroad right now. If you’ve got one planned, cancel it - and don’t book a trip for spring break. We need to hang on and hold tight for the next few months, and get through to the spring in the best shape possible.

This virus is a pain in the ass

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Retweet if you think Ted Cruz should resign.

Osama Bin Laden did not fly planes into any U.S. buildings. He just asked & inspired people to do it, drew money & resources to the effort, set the timing & launched the execution from afar. In what way was Donald Trump’s role in 1/6 ANY DIFFERENT?

Health care is a right — and I will do everything in my power to ensure that all Americans have access to quality, affordable care. Starting today, we’re opening a special enrollment period for health insurance. Head to HealthCare.gov to get covered.

My gender reveal was very elaborate. I don’t understand why more people don’t do it this way… The nurse told me she was looking for a little turtle or a hamburger bun… immediately spotted the turtle and several months later my son was born.

Ahhh the infamous canal block. Hate when that happens.

Same.

She should sue the fuck out of Tucker Carlson and Fox News

Night Night! Smoke em if you got em! Auburn Football

THE ATLANTA BRAVES ARE WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS! #BattleATL | #ForTheA