Lance bass using grade A therapy techniques to unravel Brendans commitment issues tho #bachelorinparadise

“Emy I found your dream strip mall, it had a Petco a hot Tub store and a BevMo all right next to each other” -Asia Whiteacre

Happy national “go get therapy” to all my exes day

New app idea: Duolingo for LA parking signs (tm)

Starting a DDR Fantasy league Dm for details

One time I played grace kelly by Mika on repeat for like 48 hours straight just to see if Khi would notice and he never asked me to turn it off. That’s when you know you have a keeper for a roommate.

I don’t give a fuck if you’re a swift fan or not but but WHAT A FUCKING BAD ASS. She just made history. All hail.

“Kids just don’t care about pouring slime on people anymore” - me and Asia Whiteacre talking about Gen-Z

It’s that time of year again to watch all the Harry potters and all three lord of the rings

I know I probably tweeted this last year but I really think I out did myself on Christmas gifts this year

I don’t care what anyone says these selling sunset bitches are so impressive they spend 99% percent of their time on high school drama but then sell a 12 million dollar listing on their lunch break

Moira and the mom from home alone are the same actress. My mind is blown.

I was too used to saying “I can drink a lot and I have a really high tolerance” til I went back home to Boston,..

“Look! It’s a dog in a purse that’s good luck” - KANNER

Can’t wait to drop my fire Valentine’s Day Anthem called “It’s the Most Triggering Time of the Year”, sung to the tune of the Christmas song

That halftime show was like the Avengers when all of your favorite super hero’s come together on one screen

Having a great time at the Disney hotel. Spent my morning sabotaging these kids Marco Polo game by randomly yelling “polo” from my lounge chair

My roller coaster tycoon park is doing really well if anyone’s wondering

And this season’s new bachelorette is Queen Charles

happy october witches, BADDLUCK’S Dark Pop Pack out now, only on Splice xx 🕷️🔮🌙 Thanks to everyone who helped made it happen: c @jg1986_ L I A M @dustymoonbeam @rougeway @lindsphoto @cool2bfool @prim8music @thejennybagels 🖤🖤🖤splice.com/sounds/packs/s…