I don’t have a Biden flag. Don’t have Biden pants, a Biden dress or a Biden cape. I don’t need to camp out in a field for 5 days eating questionable egg salad out of a cooler waiting for Biden to speak. I don’t do any of that shit because I’m not an idiot & I’m not in a cult.

Wait, the queen was real?! I thought that was just an HBO series

List of jobs I would never do: most of em

#fireBill

I hope Brady and Gisele get divorced and he plays another 5 years. Then he’ll play against his son and pass away after the game. Dreams.

Me trying to find the light switch in the dark

Good for you Green Bay Packers you barely beat a beat up NE team using a 3rd string QB. Fuck Aaron Rogers

I love Tom Brady … but that was a horse shit call. This is football… tackle football. Right? NFL

Bledsoe watching the game like “phew, it wasn’t just me”

If someone offers to give you a tour of their home make sure to say “I can’t wait to smell the bedroom”

I may need 1 more political AD telling me to vote to really convince me

#ilikedcandy

Terry Bradshaw no longer belongs on TV. Jesus FOX Sports: NFL

My voting booth had a glory hole but it was only for republicans. THIS IS WHY WE’RE LOSING DEMS

Yo. This is fucking awesome and also scary. If that dog wasn’t there and trained that would not be a good ending

Don’t pierce your babies ears you fucking weirdo

Let's make it free to become a nurse.

TMZ reports Jason David Frank, best known for donning the Green and White Ranger personas as Tommy Oliver on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, has died.

Shit the white ranger was my favorite. SAD. Rest easy

Crazy how many Covid tests I took before I realized they went up your nose