Can we all agree as a society not to force the death sentence upon wild animals who attack those of us too stupid to avoid them? No, Karen you should not be trying to face tune the Jaguar.

Flying from Bham to Tenerife, Thomas Cook told me that they were going to remove me from the flight if I didn’t “cover up” as I was “causing offence” and was “inappropriate”. They had 4 flight staff around me to get my luggage to take me off the plane.

y’all want to see the grossest thing I’ve ever recorded

The last text my mum sent me reads "Eat as many donuts as YOU want to and fuck them all."

In case you were wondering what kind of person I was, I just Googled, "How To Apologize."

End all your sentences with a comma to keep your audience looking for more,