What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.

People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.

How did the cyber-criminals escape? They Ransomware.

They say money doesn’t grow on trees… Than why does banks have branches?

Apparently, keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain. Must be all the indoor fins

What did one hat say to the other? Stay here! I'm going on ahead.

My friend got a job repairing ladders He's working his way to the top...

Bad puns are how eye roll.

I have a Polish friend who is a sound technician. And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.

I hurt my knee slipping on ice in front of the police station. I went inside to complain but they charged me with a felony

I asked my boss for a raise because 3 companies are after me. He asked me which ones? I replied: gas, water and electric

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven’t heard from him since.

What happens if someone slaps you at a high frequency? It Hertz.

Every morning I announce to my family that I’m going jogging, but then I don’t go. It’s a running joke.

When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, covered in bee stings and smelling like honey. You know she's a keeper.

I’m going to have to return the camouflage jacket I bought last week. I just can’t see myself wearing it.

What is made out of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.

I went to a psychic. I knocked on her front door. She yelled: "Who is it?" So I left.

Did you hear about the guy that got caught stealing a calendar? He got twelve months.