Omg it’s supposed to be a Jeep that likes cops. I thought it was two dudes bent over putting their butts together

Witnessed a guest speaker accidentally tell a bunch of 6th graders the "Trojan Whore" was used by the ancient Greeks in war. She tried to recover with something about Helen of Troy, but it made it worse. It's been an hour. No one has recovered. We all die here.

Amber said all gender reveal parties were copied from Jenna Karvunidis who started the trend in 2008. k24tv.co.ke/entertainment/…

Have you ever been so bored you logged in to LinkedIn?

I love that Barbie is so diverse now. Can we get a Barbie that's over 40? To be fair, we're the only ones old enough to have that many careers.

Me graduating law school realizing I have to work now:

Guy in front of me in traffic 😁

I include subtle jokes in my academic papers not because I wanna be funny, but so people know AI didn’t write it.

This is why the #Oceangate Titan submersible search is so difficult. The depth of the ocean is staggering

When I drive w one hand on the shifter in my automatic car.

What if those billionaires on that submarine are promising the universe that if they’re rescued, they’ll use their billions to save human kind. Or are they like, mad they’re missing stock news?

I was so old when I went to law school that two of the friends I made there were my professors.

Me when I find out who is responsible for releasing the Barbie movie just 4 days before the CA bar exam

Me on Christmas morning when my child opens the gift I said they weren't getting.

My year: January - march: candle season April-July: gay August-Oct: summerween Dec: Santa It’s still gay o’clock in SoCal!

Instead of throwing away my old clothes, sometimes I sell them for cheap on Poshmark. This lady sent me a snail mail letter after I blocked her 🥹 Here’s her letter and my response. Have a blessed day, Cathy in Florida!

Wordle was like, “your guess was fine, but you really should have tried “cooch.”

A museum just referred to a period of time as "1400s to the 1900s" and I am suing.