Found this in my garden and I'm really enjoying the thought of that fuckin rabbit hopping around all wild-eyed and confused as to why it's mouth was on fire.

The next time you're incline to believe anything that any police officer says ever, ESPECIALLY press releases or social media posts, remember:

As an Iowa fan living in Denver, I don't even know what football is anymore.

Pretty funny that I finally went to my first ever NFL game yesterday and it happened to be a game so unbelievably shitty that it's trending because of it.

This is the kind of shot/chaser combo that I'm going to miss most about this place.

God damn, Yahoo, is this really necessary?

We do a shitty job of mowing our lawn and almost never bother to rake our leaves, but for the last 13 years our neighbor has been bringing us a plate like this for the holidays because she knows that even assholes enjoy cookies.

This is so fucking unnecessary.

My dumb ass thought this was Velma from Scooby Doo.

Piñata for my daughter's birthday with a homemade whacknoodle.

Thought the announcer said that Deacon Hill almost went to Florida and I was like "how in the fuck?" Then I realized he said Fordham.

I'm back in my rural Iowa hometown and a guy just told my dad that he looks like Benjamin Franklin these days and then laughed and asked if he invented the lightbulb.

Love being back in Iowa

Saw a guy wearing an Apple Vision Pro today for the first time and I have to admit I was surprised how much fucking dumber it looked in real life than I had even imagined.

This is wild, a foul ball from an adjacent field lands directly in the catcher's mitt. Signature Stars

Shoutout to this kid who drove a cooler to Home Depot to get some lumber.

Apple Watch has zero chill.