What’s the word for “morning person because I can be awake early but that doesn’t mean I like it”

chris evans Yum. Yum. Can’t wait for that Trump/ Popeyes chicken special. I’ll run down there in my Trump sneakers and pick up a watermelon on the way.

I was not ready for this #AbbottElementary

I’m 5’8”

Feels like the only names left are manic pixie

How do you name a kid something that isn’t a manic pixie protagonist?

Multiple decades learning the nuance of languages and failing to only find the “hard” languages are EASY????

My younger niece was non verbal last year and I just heard her tell her sister she’s going to throw her out the window 🩷

sorry i can’t be her

We’re really taking a turn away from pun rap and it makes me sad

How did I spill a popsicle on my couch? No, reallly

Maybe I could work to fix my life, or maybe I could just buy Cherry Garcia 🍦

I accidentally square-knotted my docs today so there was really no hope for me, huh HAPPY #PRIDE EVERYBODY!

Should I move to New Jersey?

Everyone looks weird in the Batman mask. Fight me.

your 20s are for pondering asexuality