Not The Onion

Looks right to me

Someone on the church GroupMe suggested my wife write a Sunday School curriculum and I piped in on the chat with COME ON HONEY LETS GET THAT DAILY BREAD and not a single one a those MFs even hearted it

My oldest daughter has a rich inner life for example she is a philosophy major who has invented an imaginary world she calls Love Island

We are so cooked

Down here in Savannah GA we’re basically outside from late September to early June. August is to us something like January in Minnesota: to be avoided

Those are called “boats“

man when they invented electric fans you know people were like YES LORD

“Lord this is wearing me out.” —my mother watching any movie where people do things

THE SUMMER I TURNED PETTY: A Memoir

Ordering furniture online and being required to assemble it yourself is emotional labor

The thought that you can die at any moment is incredibly liberating in a debilitating sort of way.

TBH “a Cincinnati kind of summer” is pretty accurate for the last two months

Why do so many women politicians now look like malnourished meth addicts after appearing on TLC's What Not to Wear

I’m driving on the sun

The stomp clap discourse has made 2025 a little better

I asked my 19yo daughter if she needed any furniture for her new place in Athens. She said, “We have plenty.” This is “plenty”

I have a PhD in playwriting and I’d rather floss with hair I found in the shower drain than read every Shakespeare play