Cal: Dad, who do you think would win in a wrestling match… a 20-year-old or 20 one-year-olds? Sam: Probably the 20-year-old. Cal: Yeah, it’d probably be hard to get the one-year-olds to wrestle… #unusualsports

Sam (asleep): This place is incredible. Me: Really? What kind of place? Sam: Cheese. Moon cheese. Me: Huh? Sam: Jazz place. Moon cheese face. Fud. Me: Wow. You want to go back? Sam: Nah. Me: Oh. Not that good? Sam: You have to pull to see, right? #Myhusbandsleeptalks

Go dawgs!! Beat the Rebels! #hailstate

Kids made a call to the dugout and got me a Mississippi State Baseball series win over LSU for Mother’s Day. 🐾🎉 Impressive, but I hope they have a favor to call in for next weekend.

Me: How was the substitute teacher today? Ellis: She was okay… she moved like a Barbie. #didntexpectthat

Every parent should watch this

Hello to high school! Nita - 9th Shepherd - 7th Ellis - 5th Cal - 3rd It’s going to be a great year 💗

Ellis, blessing the food: God, thank you for this food Mom made, even though… (pause) you know, never mind. Thank you for the food. #notherfavoriemeal

With the first race coming, here is our 2023 XC Roster #PureGuts #EyesUp #MilesToGoBeforeWeSleep

Cal: The bad news is… I left my knife at church. Me: 😳 Cal: The good news is… I know right where it is, and it’s not open. Me: Ok… I’ll call Mr. Stephen. Cal: The question news is… Can I go play at Mimi’s house? #movingrightalong #littlebrotherbigtrouble

Not sure how the boys talked the UPS men into taking a break and throwing the football with them, but I am loving the Christmas spirit!

Nita told me yesterday that she got a recruitment email from Ole Miss… She responded with “MAROOOOON!” #parentingsuccess 🐾

Nita: Mom, you should probably be really fat with as much as you like sweets. #thanksforthat

On the boat in the lake… Sam: We need about two more towels. Cal: (a la Richie Rich, and right on cue) HOUSEKEEPING! #comicgenius

Putting lotion on… Me: Mmm. This smells good. Ellis: Yeah, sort of like a nice nursing home. 😑

Nita (after getting into the car uncharacteristically early one morning): Cal! We’re the first ones in the car! Cal: No, I was the first one in the car and you were the second one.

Sam: Is there a max amount for mobile deposits? Bank lady: No… Just make sure that no checks are over $2500 Sam: That’s the maximum Her: Well, only for checks Me: But you can’t mobile deposit cash Her: Not yet (with eyebrow raise and knowing look) #smalltownbanking

Me: Please text me when you get there. Nita, who drives now: Okay, but please don’t freak out if I forget. Ellis: (almost to herself) Yeah, don’t be like Theseus’ dad… 😳 *I had to look up this reference, but the Greek lit cred is on point *

Friend: Nita, what’s it like at your house? Nita: What do you mean? Friend: Like, is it a house with INGREDIENTS for snacks instead of just snacks?

9:00 pm… Me: I’ve got to go to Walmart. Sam: Why? Me: I have no bread at all. Nita (a room away): Let them eat cake!!!