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Something terrible has happened. Our dog walker’s van with our dog Cabbage in it has been stolen while he was picking up another pet. Please look out for a black Ford Transit reg AF20 XZD. Take a photo and DM me or just ring the police

Could 2 followers please copy & re-post this tweet? We’re trying to demonstrate that someone is always listening. Call 116 123 (Samaritans United Kingdom & Ireland) Just two. Any two. Copy, not retweet.

Seen an email supposedly from NHS saying must renew Covid pass.After lots of questions it asks for you credit card details.The NHS pass does NOT require your credit card.If you click the sender name you see actual email address, which makes it clear it’s a con.Please share widely

When I was a business journalist I made a point of never doing the "If I was an employer..." bit. I felt that, mainly, they were taking risk and creating wealth in a way that I wasn't. Now that I am an employer of freelancers I am particularly dismissive of this sort of tosh.

I can absolutely confirm that skiing up hill…is harder work than skiing downhill.

I appear to have happened upon a new sensation. Since the beginning of the pandemic I have cycled everywhere in London, hardly ever using the tube. Now, when I do use it I am so out of practice I feel like an occasional visitor to London. Which quite exciting.

Can someone help me here - I have suddenly started getting tweets from this person in my timeline and every one is so head spinningly stupid it puts me off for a moment. Why is it happening and how do I get rid of them?

When Leeds United came up I was pleased - exciting football and a big club back in the day. Then they came to the Bridge this season and their fans reminded me why we hate them - by far the most aggressive and the only time a child of mine has been punched at a football match.

When my daughter was in Year 11 in PE they did an exercise analysing how many sports headlines were about women. 2 out of the top 20. Right now it’s the top 6. If that isn’t progress I don’t know what is. Although I am in a pub with her drinking Prosecco, so there’s that.

I am in what I am told is one of the best restaurants in Bruges. You can tell it is good because the water glasses are a lot smaller than the wine glasses. (And the food is spectacular, so there’s that.)

I’m told there are still people who think Trent Alexander-Arnold should start ahead of Reece James for England. This is a mystery to me.

Watching a football documentary about hooliganism. Mentions Heysel and number of fans killed and injured, without mention that the vast majority were Juventus fans. The power of Liverpool.

Is there anything more depressing than arriving back in the UK from a country with great infrastructure? (Half hour at empty taxi rank, 5 mins standing on tube train on station going nowhere and no announcement, and then one announcement - rail services from Victoria suspended.)

You know that scene at the end of Love Actually? It’s good, but you don’t get any sense that everyone has been hanging around Heathrow Airport for ages because the bags still aren’t on the carousel an hour after the plane has landed.

I've always been proud that I worked for the BBC and did my best to uphold its high journalistic standards, but no one I know who worked there was ever in doubt about the higher ups. Jumpers for goalposts and muppets for managers.

I like Finnish people. At Helsinki airport they call this a blueberry muffin…because it has a blueberry on the top.

It was bad enough when the The Telegraph's 'let's pit everyone against each other' approach was confined to the way it treated its employees.....

No clothes or toiletries after a lost suitcase, but couldn’t be happier to be in Beaune for the weekend celebrating 60 years of Anthony Hanson’s association with the region. The Grand Homme Anglaise of Burgundy, as described by someone in the know.

No.1: Reading the Telegraph.