Gorillas don't lift. Think about that. Take a minute and think about that. What if they discover push-ups one day? We need to kill them all.

Hi I'm new to this Twitter thing it's so confusing so far lol

[interview at Amazon] interviewer: why should we hire you me: I'm a Prime candidate for the position interviewer: [whispers] holy shit

A Sasquatch is like a regular quatch that snaps it fingers and says stuff like "OH NO YOU DIT INT!"