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On the twelfth day of Christmas Evil-Lyn sent to me 12 fucking arseholes

FUCKING YES

He-Man has just informed me that there’s only 40 sleeps until Christmas so he’s left me with no option other than to punch him square on his bellend.

I see there’s been about 8 UK prime ministers since I last properly posted, each one a more hapless fucker than this simpering ginger gimp.

WANKERS

Was going to have a cheeky bowl of Frosties for lunch but Mer-Man left the packet open and they've all gone FUCKING STALE

He-Man is queuing outside Argos as he's got his eye on a trouser press in the Black Friday sales. It's a bit weird though, as I've never seen him wear a pair of trousers in my entire fucking life.

What an incredible disguise. I have absolutely no idea which MASSIVE FUCKING BELLEND this could possibly be.

Couldn’t be bothered to attack Castle Grayskull today so I just summoned some magic to call He-Man a massive fanny instead.

He-Man’s just sent me a Christmas card with him and Battle Cat on the cover with the message ‘Meowy Catmas’. What a fucking arsehole.

I may be evil, but even I wouldn’t wish you a merry christmas whilst taking a massive shite on the toilet.

Merry Christmas motherfuckers

Even I’m not a convicted felon.

Joe Biden just introduced me as He-Man and I am fucking LIVID

It’s that time of year when the clocks have gone back and I’m wondering how the actual fuck I change the time in the car.

State of this fanny