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Today is one of those days. A friend just had his 2nd child. Another taking family away. Another two have settled with new partners. Feel like everyone around me has found happiness. I’m glad for them, but it reminds me that my happiness came & went with you. #grief

We visited your grave today. I was looking at the space on your stone and it made me think how strange it is to know that my name will be there one day. That I already know the exact spot my body will be buried & my name written. Life & death are so strange. #grief

This is very real. It was my wife & not my child, but I can relate to what you describe & I felt every word. I’m sorry you have had to go through this. #grief #braintumour

Yesterday I finally got back to cataloging all the mementos you kept. The tickets & receipts from our first dates, the cards for flowers that I bought you, restaurant cards & maps from our holidays. Taking an Autumn moment, before I get out your Halloween decorations. #grief

Over the past couple of days, I have emptied your wardrobe. Yesterday, I watched your mum, sister, nieces & our girl pick out the things that they wish to keep. Then I sealed up the things that I couldn’t let go. Today I ripped my heart out disposing of the rest. #grief

Been one of those days. Feeling tired & worn. Feeling deflated & empty. Life has become such a curse without you. I underestimated the pain your loss would bring & how it would linger. I’m sorry that I can’t find joy as you would want. I’m trying. #grief

Our girl is at your sister’s, planning her 13th birthday for next week. Found myself driving out to a quiet spot. These milestones take their toll on me now. You should be here to watch her grow. I just want our family back. #grief

Tonight, as I lay out our girls christmas presents, that heavy pain has returned to my chest. As fresh as February 2023. I am embracing though. It is what binds me to you. I will never allow the wound to heal, in order to keep you close. #grief

I’m feeling so lost these days. I can’t suppress my sadness anymore & so I find myself here, where I can share in anonymity. I don’t know what to write, other than I’m in pain & it can’t be eased without you. #grief

It’s been almost two years. I still don’t sleep, still crave you, still lay awake looking at your pictures, still have your handbag by the bed, still feel like a ghost. Feeling exhausted, things don’t get better. #grief

I wonder if time brings strength or just a calcifying apathy. I’m able to function through necessity & responsibility. I’m able to stay quiet to not burden others. In truth though, I think life began & ended with you. I think this chapter is just seeing out the timeline. #grief

It’s two years today. It feels like two minutes, and yet also two centuries. #grief

Our girl has gone away with school for the week. The house is silent. I hope she’s making great memories but I can’t wait for her to come home. She gave me the responsibility to keep going. Without her, I have no purpose left. #grief

Nanna passed away a few weeks ago. Now she’s with Grandad again. I often think about the bond you had with him. Why he thought of you so fondly. I think he saw that you were to me, what she was to him. She calmed him, made him a better man, gave him purpose. #grief

Your third birthday without us has been and passed. Mother’s day around the corner too. We miss watching you open your presents. #grief

I think your loss has changed me on such a level I couldn’t have imagined. I’m conscious of death in a way that I wasn’t before. This week we laid Nanna to rest & I think constantly of how we’ll lose your sister & parents, mine also. How my death will hurt our girl. #grief

Tonight is one of those nights. Laid here awake, watching the same 3 second clip of you smiling on a loop. Wishing I could hear your voice, feel your skin, smell your perfume. #grief

Tonight, I revisited some journals that I wrote in the immediate aftermath of your death. Loving & losing you has defined my life. #grief

Lately, I’ve found myself frequently pondering about how strange it is to be in love with a dead person. The idea of not being alone forever is appealing. I just don’t think it’s possible for me to be with anyone else. No one is as pretty, sweet, funny. No one is you. #grief

Hit a bit of a rough patch recently. Can’t stop obsessing over you, can’t sleep, can’t accept the future without you. #grief