what if biden announces he wants Kamala to take over but then with his dying breath he tells his wife it should be Hunter and also there are dragons

small talk gets a bad rap but, to me, one of life's greatest joys is vibing with a stranger over insignificances; a tiny reminder that intimacy is everywhere if you look

REALMS DELIGHT

Grateful for this honor. Go team! I was laid off in May and I’m still on the job market. It’s not my first Murrow. Slide in my DMs.

If you’re visiting Chicago for the DNC what you need to know about Malört is that it can’t hurt you if you grew up Catholic and understand that life without suffering is meaningless

A little life hack I have figured out this year is that if I pay for a hotel room when I book it several months in advance, by the time I go on vacation it is for free.

nobody will remember: - your salary - how “busy you were” - how many hours you worked people will remember: - how much sunscreen you wore - if you offered other people sunscreen - if you told others to wear sunscreen

The DNC is just Coachella for Poli-Sci majors

Nancy Pelosi is 84 and wearing stilettos and I have refused to go to a concert unless there are chairs since I was like 26

BRING TAMALE GUY TO UNITED CENTER

🤣🤣🤣

I MISS JACKETS

“or even women” 🔥

WHO DECIDED TO CALL IT CORN SWEAT.

HELLO do I know anyone who can help me get Oasis tickets? Asking for my boyfriend whom I love very much

Will Ferrell deciding to educate himself and others as well as supporting and loving Harper unconditionally when she came out to him really puts some other comedians to shame, huh.

should I start a chicago corgi group and call it CHICORGI