My morning meditations are basically 20 minutes of me intensely thinking about everything I’m worried about.

Elon Musk

The fact that stock prices soar after every layoff announcement because less payroll equals more profit, and more labor for the workers left over, is precisely why people hate their jobs.

I checked the “keep me logged in” box WHY DO I STILL NEED TO ENTER MY LOGIN CREDS EVERY TIME?!

Life is a team sport

Rich people who don’t know enough history sound like overgrown toddlers screaming with loose change falling from their ears. Can’t they afford a couple books?

Hey RingCentral your chatbot is useless & probably angers the world more than it already is. Your live chat agents don’t exist, and I’ve been waiting on your customer service number, listening to the same shitty tune, for over an hour. Does anyone actually work there?

And the worst advice goes to…

Pixar never lets me down

First there were Wall Street bros. Then just bros. Then dropshipping bros. Then crypto bros. Now AI bros. When will the bros stop?

Crawford fight last night was so boring

Belief is a self-fulfilling prophecy

One time I was rated worst employee most fun to work with.

The world fired their copywriters and now all I see is GPT-generated “Spring into Savings” for every single ad

This is like when Michael burry posts “my only investment is water.”

My first tweet 10 years ago! 💣👍😆 x.com/myspacetom/sta…