cardboard wishes it tasted like Little Caesars

"You okay, dude? You're lookin' kinda crazy." "Yeah."

"Hi Reddit! Any tips on how I can improve my Hinge profile? I average 1 match a month."

They say that people eat an average of 10 spiders in their sleep each year. Curiously, research suggests that Einstein averaged 100. 🕷️😋

What city are the Dragons from? I haven’t been following football and everyone keeps saying it’s their year (to win the #SuperBowl I assume).

Google search really is useless these days

Just saw #endofevangelion in theatres and I'm so glad I did. Big shouts out to Rocco Botte for convincing/influencing me and my friend, Po, to see it—incredible experience. Also, do you think someone should be responsible for their spilled popcorn if their body has dissolved?

The time for gun control is now

#wholesome interaction I had with a #scammer

Another Cyber Monday alone 😔

Indian man on plane passed out before he could press play on “Aquaman & Flash, The”

Someone at church said Trump pardoned Kramer. Is that true?

Yo, Elon Musk. Can you please make a machine that turns Fortnite into a human being so that he (or she) can be deported? I’m sick of hearing about this thing and I need it gone. #thanks

Blighttown super power 2025!

I fired an AR-15 for the first and hopefully last time today. With virtually no recoil, this is the amount of destruction only one pull of the trigger can do; I should mention the crater left in the berm down range. I cannot believe Baskin-Robbins is allowed to sell these things.

A machine at the gym had an out-of-order sign on it but I used it anyway and it worked.

I saw less of Jimmy “The Joke” Kimmel when he had his dumb fucking show. We get it—he’s so ugly they took his toys away 😢. Just put him in a mock studio where he can resume drooling before a mechanical audience that, despite being built to laugh, would still be a tough crowd.

The fly from #BreakingBad made a cameo appearance in my bedroom last night and bothered me for hours just like in the show!

Wolves don’t re-rack weights. #darcsport #NFGU #bodybuilding #bloodthirsty #beast #badass #sex

Cuck chair at the leg extention