That's a bit fecking posh. #TwitterFromTheShitter

Fuck me. Genuinely is there any political party that isnt going to royally screw us up the asshole? #politicsiswank #lessonsinhowtosparkfury

Bollocks #GreatBritishGameWeek started off with an undercooked jacket spud and some cocktail sausages at a 3 year olds birthday. I'm cracking out some venison fillet tomorrow to make up for it.

And no I havent yet watched THAT programme on the BBC. Can someone with minimal bias tell me if it's worth a watch?!?

Head over to Gareth Wyn Jones on FB. The man talks a lot of sense...

Is mummy finding a toyboy in Mac or a sugar daddy in their pa?

Must be near xmas. We've reached the time of year where Rachael goes public with her whiskey problem...😂

Proper shit at this tweeting lark now. No excuses. Just shit 🤣

Thought I'd come back with a bang. James Haskell you are clearly misinformed, dont like admitting f-ups & block anyone who criticises. I'll bring the spaniel round to shit on your lawn👍

Guess who's back, back again... For an indeterminate amount of time but with guaranteed bants and hopefully some form of shooting related shizzle this year. If not, will just be opinionated drivel and you can scroll on by...

Sooo, gone a little eco twat. No I'm not vegan, yes I'll continue to support shooting, no I haven't burnt my bras, yes I still MASSIVELY support British farming, the list goes on but i wouldn't want to bore you.

Calf update. It is nearly 3. Has fair to middling recall, likes rolling in mud and needs regular exercise. Basically is absolutely bloody feral and complete smart arse. Takes after its mother. Or the spaniel🤷‍♀️ Time will tell.

So far regretting watching Olympics today. The following inadequacies have so far been highlighted... 1. Judo- one needs to work on leg flexibility. 2. Swimming- Adam peaty needs a word with OH on breast stroke. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

In other news can anyone shed any light on the fuckwit doing doing the spaniel raffle on fb? Please tell me its a hoax?

Blimey. I now see the uproar over Blummentfelts wardrobe malfunction. The white suit was a pants attempt to conceal his superhero banana hammock. Thats cheating. #alternativeolympiccommentary

Achieved excellence in parenting award today. Managed to splat a wasp on the calfs face resulting in a sting. #nailedit #parentingtheshitoutoflife

Well that was rubbish, what a mistake. Flipping gymnast needs to get their shit together... Say me, watching laid on the sofa... Eating all the snacks.

Nearly calfs birthday. Thus up to my tits in icing because decided last minute I needed to do a homemade cake. Decided to do a Peppa Pig cake. That fucking pig would be 10x better in a cob.* (*cob = roll/bun/bap/barm for those of you need educating)

Tried on a pair of dungarees today. I can confirm i still look like a potato.