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Jon: Always grumbling about biotics. You think they're hot, Commander, admit it. In fact, ain't your boyfriend one, Gini? [Shepard's eyes roll] Tali: Kaidan? You told Liara and me you two broke up. Jon: You wha-- [incoming krogan slams into distracted Jon]

Jon: [sees graybox] Digging? Goto: Gillian. Jon: Why? Goto: Shepard just Paragon-Punched Zaeed for risking lives! Think she'd lock people in, no chance-- Jon: Gini was standing in front of me, Kasumi! Find proof? Because I know what I saw! Goto: Jon, she's worried. [Jon frowns]

Jon: Heard Gini went Full Paragon Mode on you, Zaeed. Massani: Shepard did-- after she used you for warm-up practice! It's that red armor, mate, makes you look like a ripe punching bag. [Jon's eyes roll]

Jon: Shepard, this ain't fair. Just 'cause I act like a guy who-- Me: Do you hear yourself when you speak? Jon: That dress-- Me: I'm going out. Jon: Krios? Me: Not Thane. Parker. Jon: [laughs, stops] You're serious? Parker!? Me: Parker asked. Now, I should go.

Jon: Shepard's wearing the dress again, Kasumi! Goto: The one I gave her? Jon: The one she wore to her concert in '76 Goto: Why a dress, Jon? Jon: To go out with Parker-- of all people! Goto: It's not about the dress Jon: I don't care about Parker! Goto: That wasn't my accusation

Finch: Flatline! Me: Finch? I'm meeting a date. What? Finch: Eh. You look nice there. He here? Me: Parker? I don't-- Finch: Who? No! Jon. Me: You do know Jon! Finch: Shepard. Come on! The Old Man [alarmed] Uh. You know? Gotta go. Me: No. Don't you make me chase you in heels!

Jon: How about instead of chasing Finch, Shepard, we go for a walk? Me: A um, walk? But I should-- Jon: You got time to chase Finch around, you got time to walk with me. Parker will forgive you. Me: . . . just us on this walk? Jon: Worried, Commander?

Me: Jon, did you run with the Reds? I don't-- Jon: Nah. Never got along with those Tenth Street Twits. Me: Should I worry? Jon: Worry? You never wronged me, Shepard, have you? Me: Not liking how you said that. Did I? Jon: Don't know who you've wronged? That's a problem, Gini.

Me: Tenth Street Twits. He always [Commander Shepard stops, raises her voice] "Humans are ridiculous." Jon: [rant begins] Humans die in combat easy-- [Crash Site, 2171. Day 4] Jon: . . . Most are fragile. Weak. Best not to get too attached.

Jon: Uh. Shepard? Me: Not feeling well [plucks a leaf] Anything with quills and green goo is medicinal in space. Jon: That's not-- no. Me: Sure. Here! I'll eat one. Jon: [Charges, grabs her hand] Taught you better, Earthborn! Me: Guess I wasn't paying attention. Red John.

[Earth, 2171] Rae: Reds even sent a spacesuit. Cute. You should go, Shepard. Shepard: But-- Rae: Help me take down Red John and we'll be square. Shepard: No more informing for your Alliance? And you'll stop trying to recruit me? Rae: Just bring back something helpful.

[Earth, months ago] The Old Man: It's about Flatline. Jon: That little tech prodigy that ran with your gang over a decade ago? THE Flatline that uploads the Shifty Cow Virus to steal credits? The Old Man: She's now known as "Commander Shepard."

Me: Rae [shakes her head] Red John? It's all gone! Jon: You-- wait. "Gone?" How could anyone spend that many credits!? Me: They were stolen! Jon: You're a tech wizard, Shepard! You expect me to believe-- Me: That there are things in this galaxy more Shifty than me? Yes, Jon!

Jon: And what about Gillian, huh? She's scattered across space because of you! Me: What . . . Gillian? Gillian! Your-- you blew up that ship, Jon! Jon: If I did, Shepard, it was because of you! We could argue semantics all day. You owe me a ship and a Space Pirate's trove!

Alliance will never look past this [Commander Shepard freezes] and Kaidan was mad about Cerberus-- [envisioning comm call] Alenko: Space Pirates now, Shepard?!

Me: Kasumi! You said "smuggler." Pirates are a different thing! Goto: Pirates smuggle, Shepard. Me: But smugglers don't pirate! If you said "Pirate Jon," I may have thought "I should go." Goto: Like a square is a rectangle but a rectangle's not a square. Got it. Me: . . .

Jon: Kasumi, Eyes gotta be Parker. Why was Finch there, eh? And Parker was a no-show! How could anyone stand up Commander Shepard? Me: Where, Parker? [on comm, sprints] How'd you get trapped there!? Um, on my way! Goto: Yes [holds back laughter] Astute deduction, Detective Redd.

Jacob: Gillian's destruction landed Shepard in the Alliance. Heard the crew was wiped, Red John included. Miranda: Yet all those tales of "The Red Ghost." Vorcha hissing about a vengeful spirit, roaming the galaxy. Ah, Jacob. You know not to assume Alliance reports accurate.

Tali: You robbed him, Shepard? That's how you know Jon? Me: When I was with the Reds, Old Man sent me on a job, blah blah. Collateral. Jon's a big scary guy, even then! And does it really count if you rob a Space Pirate? Jon: It counts [shouts from nowhere] Definitely counts!

[Cargo Bay, 2171. Day 1] Jon: Great [hits comm] No threat. Just an Earthborn. Shepard: [scoffs, peeking] How could you know that from a glance? Jon: You're a stowaway. Shepard: That doesn't-- Jon: A stowaway in space and you ain't got no helmet! Even a colonist has more sense.