Forced birth in a country that doesn’t have mandatory maternity leave or universal healthcare…

Don’t get it twisted, if you see me drinking this 4th of July it’s because I love drinking, not this country.

Why are there pop tarts but no mom tarts Because of the pastryarchy

you are not a "teenage dirtbag" you are 26 years old

Finding $15 sitting in my Venmo balance and treating it like it’s my offshore bank account

The sexual tension between me and dropping out

do u think jesus could run the mile in under 7 minutes

(after sex) very well then

96. she was a kid

“Ariel wasn’t Black!” & Jesus wasn’t white. Cope.

damn i really gotta go to chipotle i have no more napkins left in my car

This list got me HOLLERING

fuck BeReal i want to BeDead

me?? in love?? with u??? of course

If cheezits didn’t exist i’d be severely malnourished im so serious

being the designated concert ticket buyer friend is a stressful and important position no one talks about.

Therapy isn’t enough I need to fight a Republican

if i don't text you saying happy new year we still gang i’m just lazy