You are not the daughters of the witches we couldn’t burn. You are upselling shein on depop

reject modernity (microsoft authenticator) embrace tradition (solving a bridge troll’s riddle)

There's endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it first try.

I dropped a guy last night to a takeaway that sells after hours booze. They sell it (as well as food to locals/regulars) on tick. He said he was in the back once where they have a huge whiteboard with who owes what and there was one lad €200 in the hole for curry chips.

Trying not to blame myself but Tess and Claudia literally only saw this once in 21 years and less than 2 weeks later they’ve stepped away

If it has certain demographics frothing at the mouth over the portrayal of men, you know #RiotWomen is exactly the drama we needed in 2025. Also, it’s bloody wonderful.

my ducks: in a row my elephant: addressed my eggs: several baskets my bigger fish: fried

Woke up in the night feeling really snug, in the middle of a dream where I was saying that the creative inspiration for my snug state was directly influenced by the bug who was snug in the rug

i’m genuinely in love with this ad a french one? for a SUPERMARKET?? like woah

tell you what, someone should open a food hall featuring a range of street food vendors selling everything from burgers to tacos to Indian food, and everything should cost between £11 and £16

Patiently waiting until tomorrow to spend two hours in the big Tesco blocking the aisles as I slowly browse the veg section and buy one onion which I shall pay for by cheque.

They’re not even real traitors anymore, just assistants to the regional secret traitor #TheTraitors

Ok but hear me out - what if one of the traitors is actually the Red Traitor and the other traitors don’t know it? #TheTraitors

Ten years ago today

I threw my dog a ball. Extravagant I know, but she looks gorgeous in an evening gown.

Me when someone doesn’t use headphones on public transport #TheTraitors #Traitors

drunk lying is so fun. i convinced a guy my name was envelope but that it was pronounced like “penelope”

Ok but Rachel is an actual, pathological psychopath right? Like no emotions, no fear. #TheTraitors

I love Stephen. The face of a doomed WW1 officer and the wardrobe of John Travolta. #thetraitors

GailRenard If only people knew back in *coughs* 2011