The word “promenade” should be pronounced like “lemonade”

“Difficulties strengthen the mind as labour does the body.” Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher (4BC-66AD.)

a good story introduction tells you everything you need to know without ever describing what happened

Late night new dad product idea: shirts with a few pieces of Velcro over the left shoulder, and burp rags that have a little bit of velcro on them as well, so the burp rag stops slipping and dad stops accidentally getting into bed with a shoulder covered in baby milk barf

I kiss my 8 week old son’s forehead in the morning when I leave for work, and I always leave a little splotch of coffee that was in my mustache. This is my act of anointing his life. My wife is NOT into it

Started cooking my Marie Calendars Chicken Pot Pie in the oven hopefully it’s done by lunch time Friday

My 8 week old son has taught me that to have a bowel movement you need to swing your arms around just right and make intense emotional eye contact with anyone in the room. I’ll be using this method from now on

I want a Roomba that says “ouchie“ when it bumps into things and leaves snarky comments as it vacuums. “Good lord, it’s dirty in here, Susan“ “Do I have to do everything in this pigsty“ “Well, if this isn’t your third bag of chips this week, Miss crumbs-a-lot“

this is absolutely the worst solo i have ever heard by any instrument

It is easy to craft a plausible narrative that permits us to believe our troubles are all the fault of others. Easy to paralyze ourselves with bitterness and idle blame. Taking responsibility for our condition gives us the will to improve it. It gives us the strength to act.

2am DAAAAAAAAD!!!!! *out of breath* yea owen? you ok? when a garbage truck goes potty, it needs a penis AND a butt. *points at owen* correct.

Anyone know ways we could help the firefighters and low income families impacted by the LA fires?