Can't a man eat a sandwich in piece without fear of being tracked and hunted like a beast

Cancel culture is a plague: I really miss getting new episodes of Cheers each week. All because the liberal media can't handle everyone knowing your name!

Traffic laws are more of suggestions, out in the mean streets of Western PA the asphalt is ruled by those with AMBITION

You said forever now I pay alimony twice a week

Sitting here with a bottle of Black Velvet and sad boy tunes cranked to the max. Can’t believe my boy Mufasa had to go out like that. HEARTLESS!

I wanna find the guy who invented the bidet and shake his pristine, poop free hands

The Pirates now have 25% capacity in their venue, allowing for twice their fan base and their extended families to see the classic American sport once again 🇺🇸

Ain’t it a real kick to the teeth when one of her top artist is Morgan Wallen and they proudly display that on their profile? Don’t matter how sad and lonely I may be, at least I’m not dating a country fan

Welcome to the Hotel Motel Holiday Inn, such a lovely price (such a lovely price), so full of lice

My mans Cookie dropped this 👑 she's not good enough for you King

The same people mad about Lil Nas X’s music video are likely the ones who claimed a bunch of nerds sitting in a basement doing math in Dungeons and Dragons was “a sign of the apocalypse”

Pirates? More like poo poo

At a hotel tonight to cover a jr. high dance competition, and this is the sounds I get to rest to 🥰

Just in time for summer

Every part of me that thinks I’m going to miss it ends up haunted by the worst of it. Proof it never would have worked

Joe Biden is ruining America! Just earlier today saw him pass by a hotdog and not completely engulf it into his lying, liberal lips and swallow it whole. GROSS AND UNAMERICAN!!!!

Now that Robert Morris University cut hockey... Fox's Pizza Den wanna sponsor my interpretive dance league known as the Kmart Cup?

I made one hell of an offer, but my peanut butter and jellies are apparently “not enough” for the league

Never heard a NASCAR fan say they “don’t see race,” those are some dedicated fans!