Is the right side or left side appendicitis? 😖

If you were a power ranger, what color would you be?

Why can’t we drink lettuce if it’s 90% water?? 😣

Left over from the weekend. Got to shoot some pool. Don't plan to pick up after my wife. #ifb #followback #teamfollowback

Good point. The log jive is now Weber. Not sure which famous chef jumped out of a window in 1995. #ifb #followback #teamfollowback

Weirdest part about the gym is accidentally making eye contact with the same person more than once

Imagine being on the beach and a fly gets caught in your throat, only to find out you have a fly in your throat kink

mochi on da ceiling...what will he buy??

Ima go git da za

My life goal is to meet the person who can make this sound with their mouth

Age 0: “mmm boobies” Age 2: “mm boobies” Age 8: “cooties 🤮” Age 12: “mmm boobies” Age 20: “mmm boobies” Age 45: “mm boobies” Age 70: “mmm boobies” Age 90: *dead noises*

I’m bout to eat Pandora’s box

If you’re reading this, just know that ❤️☺️

They never said humpy dumpy was an egg...

My guilty pleasure is drinking shower gel

Me when the

Some fucker in Mesopotamia invented agriculture and now I have to wear pants in Target, how is that fair

Big poopy time